The Mental Illness Thread

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The Mental Illness Thread

Post by CMSAB11 on Sat 28 Nov 2015 - 2:41

Hello everyone. Correct me if I'm wrong, but I don't think a topic like this has been made yet. It's long overdue though, I already know that there are some on here that have mental health problems. This is a thread for members who have been diagnosed with or suspect they have a mental illness to come and talk about their problems. You can treat it as a rant thread if you wish. Ranting/talking about your problems can be therapeutic, as it is for me.

This is just an introductory post; I'll try to keep this short and not rant or anything in this one. I'm an open book so I have no problems sharing almost everything I'm going through with you guys. I was recently diagnosed with GAD (anxiety disorder) and major depression. If anyone needs to talk in private or needs help, you can PM or email me if you want. I know what it's like to feel unstable and out of control. I feel like that almost every day lately. Though I'm pretty sure it's against the law for me to provide you with medical advice, I can recommend a few support forums/chatrooms if you need someone who understands what you're going through to talk with. Take it from me, it is extremely helpful, and trust me, there aren't any creepers or horny idiots on those types of sites. Usually they are strictly moderated and everyone wants to help you because that is why the site is there. Anyway, I just wanted to put myself out there as someone who you can talk to. I log in every day and I have a lot of free time, so again, if you need help feel free to reach out to me.

This is also a thread where you can vent about having to deal with the mental illnesses of your loved ones. Coping with that can be hard, too. Or you can talk just in general about mental illness. This is more of a serious thread though, kind of like my LGBTQIA topic, so I will ask that we kind of tone down the silliness and the jokes if someone really has to vent here. Also, please, please be considerate of others; if you have never had the illness that they have don't make uneducated assumptions or tell them they aren't suffering from a mental illness unless they specifically ask your opinion and you HAVE or have RESEARCHED the illness and actually KNOW about it. I don't think very many of us on here are offended by much, but that is something that would offend me. However, I wouldn't expect anyone on here to say something that thoughtless to another member. Just to put it out there, though.

Feel free to start sharing, and again, I can provide support if you need it.
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Re: The Mental Illness Thread

Post by A Lotta Moms on Sat 28 Nov 2015 - 4:21

I second that regarding keeping this one relatively serious and respectful.  As wild and lawless as things can be around here, we also pride ourselves on sharing a certain degree of kinship and understanding for one another.  As always, you have my full support.
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Re: The Mental Illness Thread

Post by CMSAB11 on Sat 28 Nov 2015 - 5:22

Thanks Bunnehpie. Gotta be serious sometimes...

I do want to say something about work right now...god. Lately I go hide in the bathroom every chance I get just so I can collect myself. Every little thing bothers me...how I do my job, how the patients/staff think of me when I talk to them...what that one guy with the hearing aid thought of me when I said I couldn't hear him the first time I mean was he pissed?? I don't know?? How do you stop worrying about people you don't even know? I was also really anxious because at the beginning of the week I had to leave early because I had a really bad anxiety attack. I couldn't breathe, could hardly stand, hyperventilating like crazy, everyone saw me and gave me strange looks...my boss wasn't that understanding she told me I'd get points for this and looked creeped out. Made me feel like a freak, honestly...but I felt like I was going to pass out.

Having an anxiety disorder is like having a ball of tension in your stomach...almost 24/7. Something that's small that wouldn't worry most people happens...then the worry starts attacking me. My brain feels like it won't shut off sometimes. I just want it to shut. up. but all the "what ifs" keep coming and coming...I worry about things that are days, weeks in the future sometimes. Earlier I felt so tired but I couldn't sleep because of all the worry...I felt so restless and anxious. All the work I haven't started because lately I've had absolutely no motivation because of my depression. That's part of the cycle, though...sometimes it's anxiety and depression, sometimes it's only one, and as soon as it goes away the other one sets in...
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Re: The Mental Illness Thread

Post by Kerry9Story on Sat 28 Nov 2015 - 6:41

sad shit sis Crying or Very sad my fatass been on meds since shit gone down while go an had stay halfway house for 3 fucken mos. had see some rotass old bitch there br acten all doctor an shit but i aint seen no coat or nothen so fuck her fakeass crookshit fuck, hadda talk bout how i been feelen an my dad an life an shit for liek hours an aint able let me go bathroom till hours up. then afer bout a few wks they all like my dumbass got learnin disabs. an antisocial or borderline mabbe or some shit they all like DURR K3RRY U CANT CONTROL URSELF SO U GOTTA TAKE MEDS an shit. IDGAF but least they payen all this shit cause my poor ass aint got insurance or nothen so whateer. so now my ass gotta be on meds 6 months or Jess aint gon help find work an gotta go back mabbe if i aint do they want but fuck em imma do i want. IDGAF imma be dead in few yrs mos likely an happy at least. Crying or Very sad
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Re: The Mental Illness Thread

Post by Kerry9Story on Sat 28 Nov 2015 - 6:58

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Re: The Mental Illness Thread

Post by A Lotta Moms on Sat 28 Nov 2015 - 13:07

I know it's much easier said than done, but the important thing is to try your best to keep those negative thoughts and worries out of your mind during your shift.  If you find those worries starting to enter your mind, catch it early and shut it off before it can develop into something debilitating.  Just don't worry about those little things, or how patients are interpreting what you do.  Just imagine yourself hitting a "worry off" switch when you go in.  If something happens that constitutes constructive criticism or needs self-correction, then just treat that as an opportunity, follow through, and move forward without dwelling on it.  It just comes with the territory.  You have a great job opportunity and wage relative to 90% of all incoming college students, and it can lead to even better positions if you maintain it and pull through.

I know you can do it. Wink

As a personal suggestion in terms of what works for me (and this won't come as any surprise), you might want to consider doing perhaps a solid hour of peaceful, guided meditation every evening to calm your nerves and help develop a more transcendental (albeit not necessarily supernatural) perspective on life.  There are a lot of good background tracks up on Youtube that I use for that very purpose.
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Re: The Mental Illness Thread

Post by CMSAB11 on Sun 29 Nov 2015 - 3:04

Kerry, I had no idea your problems were that bad...I really hope you can get a job.

I'm on meds too, I take antidepressants. Sometimes I think they make me feel worse, I don't know...I'll take them and then I get really drowsy. People tell me that they can take weeks to have an effect and I don't know if I can wait that long. I take an anxiety medication for particularly stress-inducing events like giving a speech...heard that certain anxiety meds are bad for your heart if you take them regularly.

It's just hard to not care...your mind won't shut off or relax. It's not fun.

Yeah, music is therapeutic for me so I turn to it most often. It's just an outlet, whatever works best to distract me.
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Re: The Mental Illness Thread

Post by ArthurFrancineFan on Sun 29 Nov 2015 - 21:38

Hey Smile I'm glad you started this thread meg xxx
It's rough feeling anxious 24/7 only in a more severe way. My mood disorder as its gamely known, causes irrational thinking and sometimes outbursts. Meds have been a life saver for me including the benzodiazepines as being a mother...it's just a daily series of what ifs and oh god help me...
It's like you want to quit but are unable to for obvious reasons and mental illness is like that too. You cannot take a day off
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Re: The Mental Illness Thread

Post by CMSAB11 on Mon 30 Nov 2015 - 3:29

That's awful, JC...I can't even imagine having a mood disorder and living life like that. Also, yeah, about not being able to take a day off from mental illness...you're just chained to it, there's nothing you can do. It's frustrating.

*removed*


Last edited by CMSAB11 on Mon 30 Nov 2015 - 16:53; edited 2 times in total (Reason for editing : potentially triggering content)
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Re: The Mental Illness Thread

Post by Kerry9Story on Mon 30 Nov 2015 - 5:44

thx sis my fatass startin walmart nxt week so ima have nuff $$$ move out i hope. any peeps bein mean u @ chat or FB or whateer need arms broke an have theyre fucken head beat in Evil or Very Mad i member fucken shitass fucks used be mean my ass @youtub an dA an hella wikis for no fcken reason jus cause i try talken bout irl probs an got peeps I
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Re: The Mental Illness Thread

Post by Kerry9Story on Mon 30 Nov 2015 - 5:48

thx sis my fatass startin walmart nxt week so ima have nuff $$$ move out i hope. any p33ps bein mean u @ chat or FB or whateer need arms broke an have theyre fucken head beat in Evil or Very Mad i member fucken shitass fucks used be mean my ass @youtub an dA an hella wikis for no fcken reason jus cause i try talken bout irl probs an got peeps I <3 who black like Sam + Lonny an my ass hella lik $noop an shit so they all like im some wigger or somthen be acten all high an mighty an shit all like DUUUURRR K3RRY U NEED LEARN SPELL AN STOP CUSSIN like they too good my ass so fuck em. allem need ass get reckt fucken run down then fuckass b33ber comen here haten on Matt. i try tellen em fuck off bout how theyre shitass needs get reckt an no fucken reason goddamn sites keep ban my ass sayin im all threatin kill peeps or some shit but theyre fucken mean all Klan an shit Crying or Very sad so my ass come here an shits ok then some peeps al llike OMG K3RRY UR TROLLEN or some shit but i aint shits jus how i am. tryin be ok but shits hard cause aint got $$$ an my fucken dads kicken me out in few months so becky wernt here i prolly jus go robben or walk out front some trucks or shit cause fuck it. ima do i want be in heaven at least cause Sams there now prolly an mom too + they got hella nice peeps all huggen i heard like errything gon be OK. got lambs even.


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Re: The Mental Illness Thread

Post by Apricot Jack on Mon 30 Nov 2015 - 8:36

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Re: The Mental Illness Thread

Post by CMSAB11 on Fri 4 Dec 2015 - 17:09

Kerry9Story wrote:thx sis my fatass startin walmart nxt week so ima have nuff $$$ move out i hope. any p33ps bein mean u @ chat or FB or whateer need arms broke an have theyre fucken head beat in Evil or Very Mad i member fucken shitass fucks used be mean my ass @youtub an dA an hella wikis for no fcken reason jus cause i try talken bout irl probs an got peeps I <3 who black like Sam + Lonny an my ass hella lik $noop an shit so they all like im some wigger or somthen be acten all high an mighty an shit all like DUUUURRR K3RRY U NEED LEARN SPELL AN STOP CUSSIN like they too good my ass so fuck em. allem need ass get reckt fucken run down then fuckass b33ber comen here haten on Matt. i try tellen em fuck off bout how theyre shitass needs get reckt an no fucken reason goddamn sites keep ban my ass sayin im all threatin kill peeps or some shit but theyre fucken mean all Klan an shit Crying or Very sad so my ass come here an shits ok then some peeps al llike OMG K3RRY UR TROLLEN or some shit but i aint shits jus how i am. tryin be ok but shits hard cause aint got $$$ an my fucken dads kicken me out in few months so becky wernt here i prolly jus go robben or walk out front some trucks or shit cause fuck it. ima do i want be in heaven at least cause Sams there now prolly an mom too + they got hella nice peeps all huggen i heard like errything gon be OK. got lambs even.

Hey now. I'm sure you'll go to heaven, Kerry. And you'll be happy at least.
More seriously, it sounds like you've been in a crock of shit lately, I'm sorry. Your dad is pretty damn awful, when we aren't joking around about him it's pretty sad to think of you having to suffer like that around him. It's not too fun to have abusive/unstable parents. Crying or Very sad

I'm feeling better than I did before...no panic/anxiety attacks...though I still have general anxiety over school considering it's nearly the end of the semester and everything is due like two weeks. My antidepressants are working...been on them for a few weeks now...been recovering from the last episode of depression I had and everything finally seems to be normalizing itself again. My only complaint is that I keep pulling late nights or all-nighters...consequently I feel exhausted all the time and I keep getting headaches. I have to be careful when I wake up, I can't go hop in the shower or go driving because I might get syncope (fainting spells) or near syncope. It almost happened a few weeks ago, my blood pressure was so incredibly low one morning thanks to my anxiety meds...I got in the shower as soon as I got up and I was collapsing and nearly throwing up...I was on the floor trying to keep from passing out...it was a.w.f.u.l. My blood pressure is always pretty low in the mornings though...I have to wonder if I have hypotension at times because when I have these spells my skin gets pale and I get blurred vision, nausea...awful dizziness...they take about 30-60 minutes to pass too. Just another reason why I need to eat more, too...which I'm also working on. I don't remember if I mentioned this but I weigh as much as a 14-year-old girl. I lost my appetite due to my depression and lost a lot of weight in a matter of weeks. Lately, whenever I get hungry, I feel like I'm frigging STARVING...my hunger pangs hurt like I haven't eaten in days. I think my body is really craving all the calories I've neglected to feed it. I'm sorry stomach, but I can't eat that much in one sitting. Plus I'm dead poor, so I can't feed you as much as you want me to...sigh. The life of a college student. If I could put on ten pounds so that I can't feel every bone of my ribcage, that would be great. :/
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Re: The Mental Illness Thread

Post by Kerry9Story on Fri 4 Dec 2015 - 18:40

CMSAB11 wrote:Hey now. I'm sure you'll go to heaven, Kerry. And you'll be happy at least.
thx sis but my fucken dog martys there now he be shitten hella place mos likley -_-
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Re: The Mental Illness Thread

Post by Kerry9Story on Fri 4 Dec 2015 - 19:16

CMSAB11 wrote:
I'm feeling better than I did before...no panic/anxiety attacks...though I still have general anxiety over school considering it's nearly the end of the semester and everything is due like two weeks. My antidepressants are working...been on them for a few weeks now...been recovering from the last episode of depression I had and everything finally seems to be normalizing itself again. My only complaint is that I keep pulling late nights or all-nighters...consequently I feel exhausted all the time and I keep getting headaches. I have to be careful when I wake up, I can't go hop in the shower or go driving because I might get syncope (fainting spells) or near syncope. It almost happened a few weeks ago, my blood pressure was so incredibly low one morning thanks to my anxiety meds...I got in the shower as soon as I got up and I was collapsing and nearly throwing up...I was on the floor trying to keep from passing out...it was a.w.f.u.l. My blood pressure is always pretty low in the mornings though...I have to wonder if I have hypotension at times because when I have these spells my skin gets pale and I get blurred vision, nausea...awful dizziness...they take about 30-60 minutes to pass too. Just another reason why I need to eat more, too...which I'm also working on. I don't remember if I mentioned this but I weigh as much as a 14-year-old girl. I lost my appetite due to my depression and lost a lot of weight in a matter of weeks. Lately, whenever I get hungry, I feel like I'm frigging STARVING...my hunger pangs hurt like I haven't eaten in days. I think my body is really craving all the calories I've neglected to feed it. I'm sorry stomach, but I can't eat that much in one sitting. Plus I'm dead poor, so I can't feed you as much as you want me to...sigh. The life of a college student. If I could put on ten pounds so that I can't feel every bone of my ribcage, that would be great. :/
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Re: The Mental Illness Thread

Post by CMSAB11 on Fri 4 Dec 2015 - 19:29

Shame you won't be able to lay in the clouds, then... Crying or Very sad

Aww....thankies. flower
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Re: The Mental Illness Thread

Post by Kerry9Story on Fri 4 Dec 2015 - 19:35

needs get hit by fucken plane or some shit.
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Re: The Mental Illness Thread

Post by A Lotta Moms on Sat 5 Dec 2015 - 11:43

All the more excuse to go all out next Bunnycation. I love you
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Re: The Mental Illness Thread

Post by Wild Starry Moony on Sat 5 Dec 2015 - 13:32

Meg, it sucks that you've got to deal with all this shite. Kerry and AFF, too. But it's a bit of a consolation knowing I'm not the only one with shite to deal with.
 Man I need to rant. 

Warning:rant below..

Spoiler:
My family is a fucken hot mess. Last night two of my aunts, aunt P and aunt C and her kids and my Grammy were over. I go do Landry for one minute and when I unplug my headphones they're fucken slamming doors and screaming! Over basically the fact that they're mad aunt P fucken slammed our front door and left. And then Aunt C and my Grammy are still fucken screamin at each other. I had to go down there and calm them down like their Frikin toddlers! And it's over another aunt who's going through some serious shite right now, had to move out because our grandpa was being a fucken prick to her because she had to go to meetings cuz she's addicted and suicidal. And I'm pretty much the only one who fucken cares sometimes, my aunt C  is pissed and wants to kick her out again for havin a puppy! Like deal with it! Where else is she gonna go?! I've talked to her and I know how much she needs a place to live, but no it's too stressful to be a decent person and help your sister. Thank fuck my mom was away at a party and didn't have to see the huge fucken argument over.. What? Oh yeah, my aunt P was worried for my other aunt being alone at the house, and aunt C got insulted and threw a fit, then aunt P got insulted and threwa fit, and then my grandma got insulted and threw a fit. And I had to fucken calm my 20-30 year old aunts down and call my aunt P make sure she didn't drive into a tree or some shite like that. And my dads on leave, so that's pretty fucken shitty, since he's the one able to keep most of the fam from going batshit. Oh and one of my cousins is gonn have a baby, and she's my age. I know her parents and they are not gonna be nice or decent about this to her! But what do I know because she hates me anyway. 

Plus I'm fucken mental myself, but I can only go see my counselor once every two months. I'm failing school,but why does it matter because they all mostly hate me for not being a sexist racist homophobic shithead at my catholic private school. I'm catholic somehow, even though I disagree with a lot of things in the Catholic Church, and apparently I'm going to hell for that according to my religion teacher. I used to have severe anxiety, still get it every once in awhile, I get bouts of deppression and I'm fucken lonely. I love people and parties and fun, but hey pretty much every real life interaction I get is a bunch of people who hate me or hate each other. I've got two friends I barely ever get to see or talk to, so I spend most of every day alone. I've got fucken health problems too, but whenever I see a doctor they're always like well you aren't sleeping enough! Like wow I didn't know lack of sleep gives you a limp and vagina problems. 


And I love my family, even my batshit extended family, and I know they love each other even when they pull this kind of shite, and I can't be freaking out with them about anything, cuz they don't need that. So basically I just freak out internally all the live long day, the live long day I spend not talking to people. No wonder I can't throw parties like I used to. I'm a fucken pinkemena.

And even though things are actually looking up compared to awhile ago, life is still gonna be crazy.and I worry that somethings gonna happen to someone before people will get their heads out of their asses and be adults.

sorry this is long. I'm just freaking out a little and I needed to get it out. Sorry I freaking dropped this all. Sorry.


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Re: The Mental Illness Thread

Post by CMSAB11 on Sat 5 Dec 2015 - 18:05

Wild Starry Moony wrote:Meg, it sucks that you've got to deal with all this shite. Kerry and AFF, too. But it's a bit of a consolation knowing I'm not the only one with shite to deal with.
 Man I need to rant. 

Warning:rant below..

My family is a fucken hot mess. Last night two of my aunts, aunt P and aunt C and her kids and my Grammy were over. I go do Landry for one minute and when I unplug my headphones they're fucken slamming doors and screaming! Over basically the fact that they're mad aunt P fucken slammed our front door and left. And then Aunt C and my Grammy are still fucken screamin at each other. I had to go down there and calm them down like their Frikin toddlers! And it's over another aunt who's going through some serious shite right now, had to move out because our grandpa was being a fucken prick to her because she had to go to meetings cuz she's addicted and suicidal. And I'm pretty much the only one who fucken cares sometimes, my aunt C  is pissed and wants to kick her out again for havin a puppy! Like deal with it! Where else is she gonna go?! I've talked to her and I know how much she needs a place to live, but no it's too stressful to be a decent person and help your sister. Thank fuck my mom was away at a party and didn't have to see the huge fucken argument over.. What? Oh yeah, my aunt P was worried for my other aunt being alone at the house, and aunt C got insulted and threw a fit, then aunt P got insulted and threwa fit, and then my grandma got insulted and threw a fit. And I had to fucken calm my 20-30 year old aunts down and call my aunt P make sure she didn't drive into a tree or some shite like that. And my dads on leave, so that's pretty fucken shitty, since he's the one able to keep most of the fam from going batshit. Oh and one of my cousins is gonn have a baby, and she's my age. I know her parents and they are not gonna be nice or decent about this to her! But what do I know because she hates me anyway. 

Plus I'm fucken mental myself, but I can only go see my counselor once every two months. I'm failing school,but why does it matter because they all mostly hate me for not being a sexist racist homophobic shithead at my catholic private school. I'm catholic somehow, even though I disagree with a lot of things in the Catholic Church, and apparently I'm going to hell for that according to my religion teacher. I used to have severe anxiety, still get it every once in awhile, I get bouts of deppression and I'm fucken lonely. I love people and parties and fun, but hey pretty much every real life interaction I get is a bunch of people who hate me or hate each other. I've got two friends I barely ever get to see or talk to, so I spend most of every day alone. I've got fucken health problems too, but whenever I see a doctor they're always like well you aren't sleeping enough! Like wow I didn't know lack of sleep gives you a limp and vagina problems. 


And I love my family, even my batshit extended family, and I know they love each other even when they pull this kind of shite, and I can't be freaking out with them about anything, cuz they don't need that. So basically I just freak out internally all the live long day, the live long day I spend not talking to people. No wonder I can't throw parties like I used to. I'm a fucken pinkemena.

And even though things are actually looking up compared to awhile ago, life is still gonna be crazy.and I worry that somethings gonna happen to someone before people will get their heads out of their asses and be adults.


sorry this is long. I'm just freaking out a little and I needed to get it out. Sorry I freaking dropped this all. Sorry.

Oh, Wild Star...



Don't apologize for anything. It's perfectly okay to let it all out. These are problems that I struggle with too. Smile

On the topic of family, sheesh...I generally don't have any issues with my extended family, but the issues I've had with my mother are much better left unsaid. A few months ago, I would have described my current living situation with that exact wording; a hot mess. These issues have made me lose almost all of my trust in her as well as my respect. Things have evened out now, and we generally live without getting into problems or talking about the past. However, she can be so volatile at times that little things I do can set her off. I had this happen about a week ago; she flew off the handle when she saw that I didn't take care of my chores and left...and whenever that happens I assume the worst. I pretty much thought I would be kicked out so I decided to go and live in my car for a day or so...I was coaxed to come back finally, but that's how far I'm willing to go to get away from the madness. My car was preferable to living in that environment because it's better for my concentration. I can't be dealing with that shit when I have the end of the semester coming up and everything. These days, my cats, my boyfriend, and my two friends are more like family because they don't stress me out and make me feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders. I can get worked up over school and pissed off at my life and they won't judge, they'll just tell me they want to make it better. Just because I share the same blood line with some other people doesn't make them my family. Only I decide that. :/

That's a ton of drama with your grandparents and aunts...I have problems with immature relatives, too. It's mostly with one of my aunts. She seems to throw a fit over SOMETHING during every holiday get-together; mostly over the cooking, like what time to put the turkey in, what kind of cookies to make, etc. Then she goes into the bedroom and slams the door, so we have to wait until her temper tantrum is over... -_-

I'm so sorry you have mental health problems, too...honestly, with the way teenagers and young adults are being pushed in secondary school and college, I'm not surprised that even the best of students have failing mental health and low self-esteem. My two friends, who graduated in the top 10% of the class as honors students, are like that. One even confessed to me that she once had suicidal thoughts and self-harmed. All over grades and school. The older I get, the angrier I am at how high the standard is set in academia and the intensity of the programs the people around me are in. Also, it's just so hard for people to get an college degree that leads to a stable career. But that's a problem that's been discussed here already...

Wild Star, don't get discouraged that you aren't doing so well in your classes. It isn't your fault when you have all of this shit going on in your life right now at your age. The most important thing for you right now is your mental health and well-being. Honestly, school can wait. In fact, fuck it. Students aren't machines. And fuck those sexist, homophobic, racist assholes at your school, too. You just don't need those kind of people around you, no matter how nice they are. Are they really "nice" people if they're only pleasant until you reveal something about your identity? Are they really nice people if they JUDGE others for being who they are? Those types of people make me so sick.

On the topic of religion, I sincerely hope you aren't being forced into catholicism by your family. Sad If you are, since you clearly do not agree with many aspects of catholicism...I would seriously sit down and rethink your religious beliefs. I was raised in a Christian household too, but as I learned more about science and developed a fondness for the subject, I became completely areligious. There are many denominations of Christianity if you still think of yourself as a Christian, but not as a Catholic. Or if you don't think of yourself as Christian at all, there are many, many religions that may be much more aligned with your beliefs. You're at an age of self-discovery and many people at your age are still trying to develop their identities, whether it be in terms of gender, religion, sexuality, etc. I didn't really realize that I was bisexual until I was 15-16, actually.
It's something your family needs to respect. It's not healthy for them to force their beliefs on you like that. It shows that they are very closed-minded. Sad

As for feeling lonely...that's me, 100%. I'm not the type of person who can live alone for the rest of their life. I don't see or talk to my two friends a lot, either. I'm mostly in my own world as I go to work and school every day. It can drive me crazy at times. I think it would drive most people crazy. I'm just sorry you have to go through that. You should know that it's healthy to talk about your problems and not keep things bottled up inside, though. Even if it's to a random stranger, talking about your problems and letting it all out is therapeutic in it of itself. Believe me, I've done it many, many times. It was something I had to learn, too, that people won't get annoyed if you have to vent, or people won't think you're strong anymore if you have to talk about your problems...

This is one site that really works for me: http://www.7cups.com/
Best part is that it's 100% free, and everyone on there wants to help. Really nice people on there who will listen to your problems and try to work through them with you. Great for calming anxiety, at least temporarily. Smile

Also, sleep can cause a lot of problems if you aren't getting enough of it...it probably isn't the cause of your limp, but I've read that it can cause some issues with vaginal discharge and periods. I have an irregular sleep cycle and I get headaches all the time...dizzy spells...it's the worst.

Anyway, this turned into a bit of a rant itself, lol. Now I'm apologizing for making such a longass post. I hope it helped a little, though, and I hope you're all right now. I'm always here to talk to if you want. If you need more support, I have a few resources on hand aside from the site I linked to as well. You seem to be a strong person for your age though, dealing with all this crap. I'm impressed, because I would've had a complete breakdown. However, as I said before, it's important to remember that it's all right to let it all out on occasion. We're only human. Smile
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Re: The Mental Illness Thread

Post by Wild Starry Moony on Sat 5 Dec 2015 - 19:29

Slol. it's fine Meg. Thank you for writing a long ass post. Smile 

You're right about my school. And the whole school system is fucked up. Even my dad who works in the education business thinks it's dumb. You can be rejected from colleges over a .5 difference in GPA. It's all bullshit. All the deadlines and tests that don't actually help you learn. Homeschooling isn't perfect, but it's a good alternative, especially if you can teach yourself, which I'm going to do. But it might all be for nothing. its a gamble where if i lose i lose big and if i win, i.e. get into a decent college that still won't guarantee anything at all. just a bunch of debt.

Honestly in regards to religion and identity and my family.. They haven't pushed me into anything for the most part, honestly my parents are the most tolerant out of most of my extended family. I've talked to my mom and my dad about my beliefs and what I disagree with, and while certainly we didn't agree on everything, they haven't tried to force me to believe what I can't. For the rest of the family IDK. Even though I love them, when one of my aunts converted to and married a Muslim my grandad hated her for it and my aunts were not so great about it. They have warmed up to her and him, but.. Gah, IDK. I pray and go to church and mostly enjoy it, at least when I can go to my home church. 
Our priest is surprisingly open minded, he once said in a homily that, "there is nothing wrong with supporting gay people, but don't see it as a lifestyle." not entirely sure what it means tho, depends on how he meant it. I'm a Byzantine Catholic, a less popular type of Catholic. As I was growing up no one told me I had to believe something. I wasn't taught that gay people are sinners, I wasn't taught about who was and who wasn't a sinner, it was just about prayer and love. But in a Roman Catholic school, I meet kids who have grown up their whole lives being taught how to defend themselves from sinners (i.e. People like me) and it's awful. 

Am I a Catholic? I don't know. I go to Catholic Churches and follow most of the traditions. I love the theory of the mass, and I don't eat meat on Fridays, etc. But there is a whole chunk of bullshit I don't believe, and mostly that stuff is social opinions about LGBT and sin and converting people. That stuff I shouldn't be obligated to believe, but apparently i am.

What has amazed me though was how I kind of came out to my parents. I am maybe bisexual, but like most things I don't entirely know what I am. But I have said to my mom and my dad, that sometimes I'm attracted to girls. And they said, "okay." Would they freak out if I dated a girl? Idk, because I'll probably never date a boy either. They would probably freak out. But I'm glad I got to be honest with them for a bit, which is more than most kids in Christian families get. but that's only because i am close to my dads side of the family. My moms sideshow are Protestant are much more clannish and traditional, which is why I'm worried about my cousin.

Being lonely is shitty. Idk what to do about it in my real life. But I'm glad I've got y'all. Knowing there's a fun group of crazies like me does make things feel more hopeful.


Wow. Rant again, kind of. Btw I usually go crazy with my rants so if I missed something or made you or anyone upset I'm sorry. 


Honestly I've had quite a few breakdowns. I usually have one or two on the backburner that I'm saving for when I get a day to myself. :p
Thanks for ranting with me, megz.


Last edited by Wild Starry Moony on Mon 7 Dec 2015 - 0:58; edited 1 time in total
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Re: The Mental Illness Thread

Post by A Lotta Moms on Sun 6 Dec 2015 - 0:10

Definitely no need for apologies from anyone.  I'm really glad that we're able to be so open and supportive like this.  It really helps to be able to connect with people who've experienced similar difficulties in life who are glad to listen, empathize and offer help.  
CMSAB11 wrote:These days, my cats, my boyfriend, and my two friends are more like family because they don't stress me out and make me feel like the weight of the world is on my shoulders.
Though I'm probably no match for the cats, I do try my best. I love you
Regarding that little domestic problem, I'm sure it's nothing a well-placed bucket of water can't fix.

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Re: The Mental Illness Thread

Post by CMSAB11 on Sun 6 Dec 2015 - 2:46

Wild Starry Moony wrote:Slol. it's fine Meg. Thank you for writing a long ass post. Smile 

You're right about my school. And the whole school system is fucked up. Even my dad who works in the education business thinks it's dumb. You can be rejected from colleges over a .5 difference in GPA. It's all bullshit. All the deadlines and tests that don't actually help you learn. Homeschooling isn't perfect, but it's a good alternative, especially if you can teach yourself, which I'm going to do. But it might all be for nothing, because

Honestly in regards to religion and identity and my family.. They aren't really pushing me into anything, honestly my parents are the most tolerant out of most of my extended family. I've talked to my mom and my dad about my beliefs and what I disagree with, and while we didn't agree on everything, they haven't tried to force me to believe what I can't. For the rest of the family IDK. Even though I love them, when one of my aunts converted to and married a Muslim my grandad hated her for it and my aunts were not so great about it. They have warmed up to her and him, but.. Gah, IDK. I pray and go to church and mostly enjoy it, at least when I can go to my home church. 
Our priest is surprisingly open minded, he once said in a homily that, "there is nothing wrong with supporting gay people, but don't see it as a lifestyle." I'm a Byzantine Catholic, a less popular type of Catholic, and as I was growing up no one told me I had to believe something. I wasn't taught that gay people are sinners, I wasn't taught about who was and who wasn't a sinner, it was just about prayer and love. But in a Roman Catholic school, I meet kids who have grown up their whole lives being taught how to defend themselves from sinners (i.e. People like me) and it's awful. 

Am I a Catholic? I don't know. I go to Catholic Churches and follow most of the traditions. I love the theory of the mass, and I don't eat meat on Fridays. But there is a whole chuck of bullshit I don't believe, and mostly that stuff is social opinions about LGBT and sin and converting people. That stuff I shouldn't be obligated to believe. 

What has amazed me though was how I kind of came out to my parents. I am maybe bisexual, but like most things I don't entirely know what I am. But I have said to my mom and my dad, that sometimes I'm attracted to girls. And they said, "okay." Would they freak out if I dated a girl? Idk, because I'll probably never date a boy either. They would probably freak out. But I'm glad I got to be honest with them for a bit, which is more than most kids in Christian families get. but that's only because i am close to my dads side of the family. My moms sideshow are Protestant are much more clannish and traditional, which is why I'm worried about my cousin.

Being lonely is shitty. Idk what to do about it in my real life. But I'm glad I've got y'all. Knowing there's a fun group of crazies like me does make things feel more hopeful.


Wow. Rant again, kind of. Btw I usually go crazy with my rants so if I missed something or made you or anyone upset I'm sorry. 


Honestly I've had quite a few breakdowns. I usually have one or two on the backburner that I'm saving for when I get a day to myself. :p
Thanks for ranting with me, megz.

It is beyond difficult to get into a GOOD college/university out of high school as I'm sure you know. You think the GPA requirement is bad? I was rejected from one of the universities I applied to because my math score on my SAT was a hundred points or so below their requirement and they told me to retake it...I got it to where it was still like 20 points away and sent it in. They sent me the bitchiest fucking rejection letter, they're all like "we don't accept candidates with a GPA below 3.5" and I'm like BITCH, I have a FUCKING 4.0, and if I don't have a 4.0 I'm usually JUST under, so don't you fucking insult my grades based on my fucking shitass SAT score! I fucking hate college entrance exams, but they mean everything to college admissions staff. Evil or Very Mad

I'm glad to hear that your family is more open-minded than I though, or at least your parents. That really sucks about your grandfather and aunts, though...I hate that mentality that people of a religion have to marry someone with the same religion. -_-

I really hate your school, lol. It sounds like it's full of awful people. Good thing you're leaving it for good!

If you don't believe in things that most people of your faith believe, then don't! You're right, you aren't obligated to adopt any sort of belief system. Religion, like sexuality, is something that is very personal for many people. It's just so complex, and I think it's something one should only share if they're comfortable doing so. I'm areligious, but I often won't share it with my two hardcore Christian friends, they assume that I'm of the same faith but I don't believe in any higher power, lol. I just don't want to start any sort of debacle about it, because faith is obviously something they are very passionate about.

My family is pretty open-minded, so when I came out as bisexual they were cool with it. It's one of the good things about them. Too bad about your cousin, though...knocked up at 16, wow. I hope her parents don't kill her.  Shocked

It's nice here on the Slums, easy to make friends. I'm glad you've settled in as a regular, Wild Star...and yes, here, we're all pretty nuts. Being crazy just makes life more interesting after all. It makes things fun and entertaining.  bounce

Don't worry about upsetting any of us, Lotta's right, there's absolutely no need to apologize. You can be as vulgar and angry as you want in your rants, look at me, I'm like that all the time.  Razz

No problem, again, I understand what you're going through at least in some way.  Smile

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If we didn't talk that night, I would've stayed out until at least the next day. No
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Re: The Mental Illness Thread

Post by Wild Starry Moony on Sun 6 Dec 2015 - 19:50

@CMSAB11 seriously that's fucking BS. That's the sort of thing I have nightmares about. College is one of those things were if you think too much about it, you can go crazy, like the fact that I could spend four years studying to be a nurse but if I'm one point below a certain grade on final exams I fail and that's it. Although if you don't think enough about it things go down the drain as well. But at the core colleges are money making institutions. Molly Ones that are mostly corrupt any ways. a few colleges have been in the news lately for encouraging racism, rape, steroids... Honestly fuck the system. I just need to get in get my degree and get out.

The funny thing is, my aunt married an atheist who dislikes religion in and of itself (he's hilarious btw  Razz  ) and a gay brother who's married. You'd think by now my family could learn to be less dicks to other people, but i still hear about one thing or the other that they're freaking out about. when my uncles brother was getting married to his boyfriend there was this whole thing where she wouldn't go to the wedding. the good thing is that their opinions evolve.. eventually. It's sucks though, especially when you have to walk on glass around your friends. It's not a good feeling. I have a friend who despite being a 'kind' person, has a mom and a family who are some of the most homophobic people I've ever met, and the more I hang out with her the sadder I get, because I can't help but think the one day I am honest to her she's going to hate me, and will cling even closer to her families beliefs that are offensive even by normal homophobic standards.
That's a problem with religion. Even ones that teach people to be kind and loving create people who are 'nice' (i.e. act nice) but will always have something nasty underneath. A religion gives you guidelines of what to believe, but if one of those guidelines is 'don't challenge or change these guidelines,' they will create people who follow laws that should have been nullified a long time ago.



Thanks, Meg, and Lotta. it's a relief just to type about these thing to someone who isn't going to hate me for it. It's a relief when I can get angry for a bit, and when I'm done I haven't lost someone or hurt feelings. And to fuckin swear, damn I don't do that near fuckin enough. lol!
Im glad to be a part of this community. Buster Arthur Francine

I'm glad i came back and stuck around, cuz this place is awesome, and its amazing to hear that you say I'm a real part of it. :hugs: thank you for that. Very Happy

this place can make every day truly a wonderful kind of day.. where we can learn to work and play.... but mostly play. Razz
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Re: The Mental Illness Thread

Post by A Lotta Moms on Tue 8 Dec 2015 - 11:14

Absolutely!  We're very fortunate to have you as our Slumsister. Smile
Something tells me hare hunting season is right around the corner...
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