Very Sad. Just a personal rant

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Post by ArthurFrancineFan on Sun Jun 28, 2015 1:55 am

Okay, am I being a self pitying person right now? YES
I have a lot of guilt within me.
I have not been to church in months. My faith is dry, I still believe and have a lot of strong spiritual belief in me but I am straying....
I swear more, I dont care what I really read or look at.....okay not true completely.
I am more pervy though than usual with the pics I look at on DA and on here of Molly lolz
I also...yes had sex just putting it on the page
Being honest
I am struggling being with my daughter on my own and sometimes I hate it so much
Ive had to increase my mood stabilizers and am on two Benzodiazipines which are sedatives. (Xanax etc)
Life wasn't always this way......

then there was the bullying online in 2013, the messages, threats and "comical" pics drawn about me and posted on their DA stashes which they happily screen capped and showed each other. Someone was able to show me what was "Really going on"
People were saying they hated me, wanted me gone, wanted to punch me in the face, and would block me from FB as a collective
This is still going on when it comes to them not speaking to me but its much better they are not because they are now fighting among each other and posting hateful remarks on DA journals about each other so the fighting continues and some other poor soul is being targeted. confused confused

I know how Francine felt lol sounds a little nuts but yeah....
I just said I did not like a moderator due to her points of view and unwillingness to let others in and one of my "friends" within the hey arnold group recorded it. They sent it to her then I get horrid messages from her.....

So yeah, I feel I need to be trusting the lord as I am christian but I am just straying and need to get back....
I am beyond tired and have been sick. I want to get sick and eventually die and pray to be taken home....just on my knees and pray for the lord to take me home
as the song says
"Maybe tommorrow the good lord will take you away"
(Dream on, Dream on)

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Very Sad. Just a personal rant 549ba811

Other people will call me a rebel, but I just feel like I'm living my life and doing what I want to do. Sometimes people call that rebellion, especially when you're a woman.

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Post by Kerry9Story on Sun Jun 28, 2015 3:16 am

well thats just sad
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Post by ArthurFrancineFan on Sun Jun 28, 2015 3:29 am

It is. Can i give u a hug?
Very Sad. Just a personal rant Hugs

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Very Sad. Just a personal rant 549ba811

Other people will call me a rebel, but I just feel like I'm living my life and doing what I want to do. Sometimes people call that rebellion, especially when you're a woman.

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Post by Kerry9Story on Sun Jun 28, 2015 3:37 am

<---them soon i hope
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Post by Guest on Sun Jun 28, 2015 3:42 am

We are all gonna fall short on God. But we are saved by grace. Jesus died on the cross to pray for every one of our sins we will ever commit in our lives.

You are gonna be okay. Don't worry.

Those idiots on deviantART are cowards. They are anti-social kids that sit on the computer all day long. And they are weird if they hate on, condemn, etc someone they didn't even know in real life. They would NEVER do anything to you in real life because they would get their asses kicked. They hide behind a computer screen because they are chickens.

devisntART in general is just a bunch of anti-social kids who have a learning disability or disorder of some sort. People at my Church and at Karaoke don't sit on the computer all day long making hate art, hate journals, satire comics to humiliate others, hate groups, etc. If real people saw what deviantART does, they would think they are crazy. They would all day "Why are you letting a fictional couple get to you?" Or "Why do you care about people from the Internet? You don't know them."

And if people still talk about you after 2 years. That goes to show you that they are mentally unstable. If I were their parents, I would take all their possessions and I would turn them in to a mental hospital to get evaluated.

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Post by Kerry9Story on Sun Jun 28, 2015 4:07 am

ArthurXfrancinexpurple wrote:I also...yes had sex  just putting it on the page
Being honest
Very Sad. Just a personal rant FANMADE_BROHOOF_DASH
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Post by ArthurFrancineFan on Sun Jun 28, 2015 4:09 am

Thank you.
Yeah its true, why does a fictional cartoon couple matter so much?
if they do nor dont get together?
Yes after two years they still continue.
Not worth the time.

Its just a really horrible tough time. I don't wanna be a mother right now, i just need some time to clear my head and probably need some sort of help/health worker for my daughter and me.... its too much

I always remember that we all fall short of the glory of god.
His blood as washed me clean, i know this, i do not doubt it and i am not angry with the lord EVER. Its all my fault and some people from the church I went to were so clicky i would end up crying after the mothers catch  ups. It was just horrible. They all knew each other and chatted abotu their rich wealthy lifestyles since the church id a wealthy one and they never invited me along to their nights out. I asked and text but they said "oh so sorry hun" "God bless"
that was it. I really felt suicidal after that, how can fellow church going people who claim to love the way we are called to, do that? walk away and block you out of their lives.
They did love my daughter which was the only consolation, i am glad she is NOTHING like me.
Smart, popular already and gets invites to birthdays. She stands up for herself and is creative. She is only three and is already the most talented little artist in her class. I prayed she would be the opposite and the lord granted me that Smile Smile

Kerry
Broney five!!!!

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Very Sad. Just a personal rant 549ba811

Other people will call me a rebel, but I just feel like I'm living my life and doing what I want to do. Sometimes people call that rebellion, especially when you're a woman.

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Post by Kerry9Story on Sun Jun 28, 2015 4:54 am

ArthurXfrancinexpurple wrote:I always remember that we all fall short of the glory of god.
His blood as washed me clean, i know this, i do not doubt it and i am not angry with the lord EVER
hes just busy i guess?
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Post by Buster & Molly Lover on Mon Jun 29, 2015 7:26 am

I hope you will feel better! Sad

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Post by ArthurFrancineFan on Mon Jun 29, 2015 6:16 pm

Aww thank you HUGS!!!
Gods never too busy but sometimes I feel lost and alone, like everyone I guess...

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Very Sad. Just a personal rant 549ba811

Other people will call me a rebel, but I just feel like I'm living my life and doing what I want to do. Sometimes people call that rebellion, especially when you're a woman.

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