I'm pregnant

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I'm pregnant

Post by Kerry9Story on Wed Mar 19, 2014 3:21 pm

Let me vent here.  So first I get locked out of my MLP account and then that shitbag Orion bangs his face into the Wikia forum and some homo PRETENDS TO BE ME and next thing I know I get banned for NO REASON, my account is POLLUTED with shit and then I find out I'm pregnant.  That's how it all got this way but I stopped complaining a long time ago, just be careful if Orion001 comes here.  I dont even know if its really him if he comes here of if some hacker jacked up his account too and wants to screw the whole thing up like we're all SOL.  So yeah, I'm pregnant as of last week and its not my fault.  People wonder why I need weed.  I'm suppose to crap out this baby now that I didnt even ask for when I'm not even 20 like God made me his special BABY FACTORY on legs for the sake of man's triumph over womankind?  Kidding me, right?  I'm sorry if I seem like I'm PMSing but maybe its because I'm PMSing or maybe its because God slipped on a banana peel when he yanked out Adams ribs out and put women together like we aer suppose to be some kind of MCRIB SANDWICH at a DOLLAR MENU DISCOUNT to slog over.  So thats why i'm not as happy as I was last year, I'm sorry if im coming off as tense but thats what this crap does to someone.  People wonder why I need weed.
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Re: I'm pregnant

Post by Rummy on Wed Mar 19, 2014 6:28 pm

Congrats on the babes.
Name it Omid.
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Re: I'm pregnant

Post by Nope on Wed Mar 19, 2014 10:17 pm

Well, in regards to baby factories we already have baby stores... if D.W. is to be believed.  What a Face 

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Re: I'm pregnant

Post by BionicBunny on Wed Mar 19, 2014 10:28 pm

No,no,name it Luigi or Bud Compson

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Re: I'm pregnant

Post by Nope on Wed Mar 19, 2014 10:35 pm

Or you could name it Vladimir Pontificus Maximilian.

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Re: I'm pregnant

Post by Kerry9Story on Thu Mar 20, 2014 1:22 am

All i know is I'm pregnant and now my dad wont even let me go to family planning and if I do I'm living on the street eating out of dumsters, OTHERWISE I'D JUST NAME IT TADPOLE AND GIVE IT A GREAT BIG FLUSH!   Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad  Evil or Very Mad   Seriously like what am I suppose to do now?  Leave it at the wooden church up the bend from 1920 where the Priest rapes kids?  Dump it at Burger King so it can be some crummy bum's lunch?  Have it and then me grow into some couch potato liek my mom before she died (now shes finally happy at least) who has to make breakfast and pack lunchbags all day for 20 more goddamn years?  But thanks for the support, you people are great and i'm sorry again if I'm angry but I'm cramping so bad I can't even walk down the hall to barf so i guess i'll just crap my bed tonight.
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Re: I'm pregnant

Post by A Lotta Moms on Thu Mar 20, 2014 7:42 am

Looks like real life's on the loose again.
But cheers!  The more Moms the merrier!  santa





...otherwise, it sounds like adoption might be something to consider: https://www.childwelfare.gov/nfcad/
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Re: I'm pregnant

Post by BionicBunny on Thu Mar 20, 2014 3:52 pm

Giving your child up for adoption is always an option as Lotta said.

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Re: I'm pregnant

Post by Rummy on Thu Mar 20, 2014 6:55 pm

Why give your child up for adoption for nothing when you can put it up on ebay for some good monies, I hear they go for a good twenty dollars.
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Re: I'm pregnant

Post by Nope on Thu Mar 20, 2014 7:55 pm

No, that's too expensive. You should give it to D.W. - she has contacts with the baby store. Very special contacts...  clown 

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Re: I'm pregnant

Post by Kerry9Story on Fri Mar 21, 2014 3:53 am

Ok, so I get up this morning and i'm so hung over cause I drank my cramps off with a fifth of brandy even if im not 21 yet but its always in the house so I don't give a shit if it's not the cops, I get up and i fall out of the bed so now I'm scheduled for a visit at the hospital next week so some BALD SLOGGARD in a white coat can look at me and then play MISTER STICKYFINGERS with me like hes my GODDAMN SUGAR DADDY or something.  REALLY???  Ever hear of womens privacy or women's lib or now that they ROB my RIGHT TO MY BODY that it means I cant even keep my body to myself and have to show it to strangers like Pr0n?  Now my pro-rape pro-strip anti-rape-crisis insurance carrier makes me strip down and show my potbelly to some old man who hasn't been laid in 20 goddamn years cause his wife prolly up an left him for the milkman or some shit so now he's getting jollys from RAPING ME WITH HIS EYES.  But I don't even care anymore, 'll ask for an abortion if my dad's not in the room so maybe at least he can fix this in 5 minutes so i can get on with my life and just say i miscarried when I fell on my ass this morning or that I just missed my period because I'm  dry as sand like my mom and never even got knocked up in the first place which I barely even remember happening anyway.
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Re: I'm pregnant

Post by Nope on Fri Mar 21, 2014 5:24 am

I guess that's what you call a misscarriage of justice.

 tongue



Last edited by JAO93 on Fri Mar 21, 2014 5:36 am; edited 1 time in total (Reason for editing : Pic.)

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Re: I'm pregnant

Post by A Lotta Moms on Fri Mar 21, 2014 5:34 am

The joys of motherhood.  drunken
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Re: I'm pregnant

Post by Kerry9Story on Mon Mar 24, 2014 10:37 am

ok so i go to the hospital and i see some fatass whose breath smells like milk and has crud in his goddamn fingernails and he says he can give me an abortion but i have to go back in 1 week for it, so now my Dad says I can't get one if i want to keep living at home.  I WORK AT MCSHITBURGER, HOW AM I SUPPOSE TO SUPPORT MYSELF ??? ??? ???  so I said I don't want to crap out kids because im STILL IN GODDAMN HIGH SCHOOL and if i can't finish then how am i suppose to support some kid i don't even love or want?  

Dance on laps for some fat blob's jollyglobs when I weigh like 200+ goddamn pounds because I hate my life because of this shit and eat ice cream because it makes me happy?  draw paintings no one buys?  Go to Hollywood and be in movies they cant even sell at Blockbuster because theres no more goddamn Blockbuster anymore?    OH RIGHT I guess I'll be a FAT ENGINEER or BENDYCROOK LAWYER or GODDAMN MILKBREATH CRUDFINGER DOCTOR and make a fortune when I CANT EVEN FINISH HIGH SCHOOL BECAUSE I GODDAMN GET FORCED TO HAVE A GODDAMN BABY I NEVER GODDAMN ASKED FOR!!!  People wonder why i'm fat now and drink and dont do fun cartoons anymore.
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Re: I'm pregnant

Post by Nope on Mon Mar 24, 2014 1:22 pm

Funny - that's what usually happens over here. All the high-paying jobs were sent away to China, so everyone lives with their parents and only work minimal wage. There's no real way to sustain themselves besides going to a meat camp homeless shelter. Oh yeah - they despair as well, so they gorge out on cheese and beer to the point where I thought Jabba the Hutt's extended family moved into town.

But besides that, I suppose one could say you're in a rather big pickle.


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Re: I'm pregnant

Post by Kerry9Story on Wed Mar 26, 2014 2:05 am

yeah well pretty soon I'll be homeless too if this crap keeps up.  so now I'm suppose to go to church Sundays and sit for 2 hours on some cold ass wooden bench while some Boyhandler tries to tell me I can't have rights to my own goddamn body cause there's magic souls in sperm n' eggs or some shit. Somebody just shoot me.
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Re: I'm pregnant

Post by Nope on Wed Mar 26, 2014 2:25 am

Our church benches were cloth lined - your place must be run by the BootyMan.

The BootyMan lurks around in public institutes, swapping out comfy chairs for wretched evil hard nasty ones instead. Victims of the BootyMan are cursed to bear the Iron Butt, for their original butts shattered upon contact with his evil chairs of doom. Common grounds of the BootyMan's wrath include schools, churches, temples, clinics, and your in-law's living rooms. No one has spotted this elusive creature, but he probably resembles this guy.


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Re: I'm pregnant

Post by A Lotta Moms on Wed Mar 26, 2014 10:30 am

Sperm n' eggs.  What a way to start the morning.   clown
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Re: I'm pregnant

Post by Nope on Wed Mar 26, 2014 2:09 pm

Green eggs and sperm.

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Re: I'm pregnant

Post by BionicBunny on Wed Mar 26, 2014 4:08 pm

What are you naming your kid?

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Re: I'm pregnant

Post by Kerry9Story on Wed Mar 26, 2014 4:19 pm

Roe for a girl, Wade for a boy.
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Re: I'm pregnant

Post by BionicBunny on Wed Mar 26, 2014 4:24 pm

That's nice.If I had a kid,I'd name him Danny.

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Re: I'm pregnant

Post by BionicBunny on Wed Mar 26, 2014 4:25 pm

D'oh! And for a girl,Michelle.

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Re: I'm pregnant

Post by Kerry9Story on Wed Mar 26, 2014 4:26 pm

yeah well at least if its a boy he won't get raped.
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Re: I'm pregnant

Post by BionicBunny on Wed Mar 26, 2014 4:27 pm

Well you have to watch out for that kind.

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Re: I'm pregnant

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